Addams Family: movie to the left of me, game to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with You(Tube).

Yes, that’s right ladies and gentlechaps, it’s old content-recycling time again. Here’s the video version. Please accept my sincere apologies.

If there’s any weird phonetic spelling still lingering below it’s there to trick my robot assistant into pronouncing words correctly (and that would make sense if you were reading this before I recreated the video using my own dulcet tones at John’s request). Actually you should be grateful I didn’t rap this myself.

What can I say about the kooky, spooky Addams Family clan that you haven’t heard a zillion times before? Well, for a start they were brought into being by electrifying an alpaca in a bathtub full of jelly and custard using an Eternian Cosmic Key. You know, the musical portal opener thingy from Masters of the Universe.

Didn’t know that did you? Something else you won’t have experienced before is a dramatic recital of old baggy pants Muck Hammer’s Addams Family Groove theme tune. Let’s kick it…

They do what they wanna do say what they wanna say
live how they wanna live play how they wanna play
dance how they wanna dance kick and they slap a friend
the Addams family

Now I was cold cooling you know just kicking it around the house
when a knock a knock a knock and a voice “Yo can hammer come out”
now I don’t mind being a friend and showing a little bit of flavour
but Wednesday Pugsley Gomez Fester man them some strange neighbours

I remember the day I needed to borrow a little bit of pepper
the next thing you know coming at me was a hand with the fingers high stepping
now I tried to play it on off and act like I’m having a ball
but what do I see a perm with feet standing about three feet tall

Speaking and thinking about the Addams you know the hammer is with it
act a fool no Bones Swoop Goofy and Randy you know we kick it
now is the time to get in your mind it’s okay to be yourself
take foolish pride and put it aside like the Addams yo they def

Yo take me to the bridge
thank you Fester
Ah yea yea oh it’s the Addams groove right here
ha ha yea yea just like that oh yea
you know you gotta fully understand
I’m telling you I saw a hand man

the Addams family – it’s the Addams
Yea thank you Fester I needed to go back to the bridge again
thank you thank you now check this out

That’s quite enough of that nonsense Mr Hammer. You had a lucky escape there – that was the abridged version. Seventy-two repetitions of the chorus normally make it three hours long!

Now you’re fully acquainted with our slightly eccentric undead neighbours, let me explain what it is you’re watching. This is a deep-delving excavation of all the crucial scenes that served as inspiration for Ocean’s licensed Addams Family game, presented side by side with the relevant elements of the original super duper Nintendo iteration. A tall order I’m sure you’ll agree – this is precisely why I get paid the big bucks!

With permission, longplay footage was kindly provided by Mr Norbert 1994. Cheers pal.

Some levels are undoubtedly pixelated translations of the movie sequences that take place in – for example – the conservatory, courtroom, graveyard, kitchen and foyer, while others are entirely ad-libbed, so to speak. You won’t find an arctic tundra, rabbit warren or underwater segment in the movie, for instance. On a similar note, Granny’s furnace gave rise to an entire level without anyone so much as setting foot inside it in Orion Picture’s rendition. Well, you wouldn’t, would you? You might singe an eyebrow!

Ocean’s game is loosely based on the plot of the 1991 movie starring Raul Julia, Angelica Huston, Christina Ricci, Christopher Lloyd and some other people I can’t remember the names of. Sorry.

I’ll let the back of the Amiga game box take it from here…


Morticia Has Been Kidnapped!

“Uncle Fester has lost his memory and has fallen under the spell of Abigail Craven, a conniving character who is anxious to lay her greedy hands on the Addams’ hidden fortune.

Having recruited a misled Uncle Fester, and assisted by her cohorts, Tully and The Judge, she manages to capture and imprison the other members of the Addams Family within the huge Addams Mansion!

Only Gomez can save the day by freeing his son Pugsley, his daughter, Wednesday, and Granny, and by restoring Uncle Fester’s memory. Accomplishing these tasks is daunting enough, but Gomez must seek out Morticia in the underground vaults of the Addams Mansion and confront the evil Judge in a kooky and spooky climax!”

That’s kind of accurate in that the movie revolves around convincing Gomez that fake Fester is his long lost brother and has returned home to be reunited with his estranged family. As heir to the Addams Family’s vast treasure trove vault, if he can inveigle his way into their trust and affections, it’s his (and his mother’s) for the taking!

It turns out that fake Fester is actually real Fester with amnesia. Before it’s too late he comes to his senses and turns the tables on his exploiters to take his rightful place in the loving embrace of his deranged, macabre kith and kin. Just Morticia is kidnapped in the movie, not the entire posse it should be noted.

If you’re familiar with the movie you’ll recall that the only baddies out to get the Addams Family are human. Unless of course, you count the judicial system as an enemy. This would hardly have been sufficient to populate an expansive and varied platformer so you’ll notice that – with the exception of Judge Womack – all the opponents you face are of the non-human kind.

I’m not counting Abigail among these as she’s a witch in the game, and not much nicer in the movie as it happens. I’m also choosing to ignore the knights (which may have humans inside them), the levitating and meditating Hindus, clowns or any other humans that make my point null and void. It would simply take too long to re-phrase this paragraph now on account of it not making sense, and I really can’t be bothered, so nerrr.

Two enemies – the masked, axe-wielding statue, and the sentient polar bear rug – were plucked straight from the movie’s graveyard and mansion scenes respectively. However, the vast majority of the remainder are purely figments of Ocean’s imagination with little to tie them back to the silver screen. In some cases, you’ll see a foe brandishing a weapon used by Pugsly, Wednesday or Gomez in the movie, whilst the sprite itself is novel. Look out for the throwing daggers, cleaver and executioner’s axe. Well, only if you want to, it’s not a command or anything. You may have already switched off, in which case I’m wasting my breath.

More literally transcribed, Gomez’s choice of weaponry certainly has its origins in the movie. He’s a keen golfer and a fencing aficionado, hence the golf ball projectiles and sword fighter’s foil. At no point in the movie does he don go-faster trainers and sprint across a gaping chasm full of lethal spikes. Artistic license, you know how it goes.

I’m sure you get the gist. I’ll leave the video and my previous retrospective article at Everything Amiga dot com┬áto explain the rest. Thanks for watching you strange, unhinged creature. Don’t forget, the Samaritans are only a phone call away. Be strong.

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